


Wucka Wucka Wucka

by ms45



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-15
Updated: 2012-10-15
Packaged: 2017-11-16 08:39:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/537575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ms45/pseuds/ms45
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>robot-o-thoughts answered your question: fic prompts? How about a Joker/M!Shep one-night stand smutfic?</p>
<p>For some reason I just can't ship Joker/m!Shep, so this was the result.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wucka Wucka Wucka

“Everything’s gone to shit.”

Shep’s endearingly ugly mug looked even more like a Saint Bernard than usual, thought Joker, except without the barrel of brandy around his neck. “Well, not _everything_ , sir.” He pushed a couple of buttons and brought up closed-circuit footage of Cortez walking from the showers to his room wearing nothing but a threadbare sports towel. Shepard swatted his head - not hard, but enough to dislodge his hat, which swivelled dangerously off-kilter. “Hey! Just tryin’ to _help_.”

“Suck my dick.”

Joker paused. He’d heard nothing from Tiptree, Thessia was on fucking fire, and Shepard’s misguided sense of honor meant that the galaxy was about to be overrun by rampaging krogan. “You first, man.” 

Shepard grabbed Joker’s chair and tipped it backwards. 

Joker never did find out if Shepard was going to take him up on it, because EDI chose that moment to start playing terrible synthesised funk just made for paying the pizza boy with free blowjobs. Stupid possessive AI.


End file.
